FEELING LIKE I AM ALMOST GONE!

Hi Community,

I love you all! I have been so busy fighting/advocating for Chronic Pain Patients Rights… too many individuals are committing suicide at phenomenal rates because they are in horrendous pain… feeling desperate, lost, alone, overwhelmed, scared, broken and feel like they have no other options!
PAIN IS RELENTLESS, PAIN IS CRUEL, IT DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE, IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU ugh…
Please pray for me and all the 100 Million+ Americans who suffer 24/7,

365 days a year! Will be meeting with legislators, media etc. to bring/spotlight attention to this whole man-made, opioid epidemic we are facing here in the United States of America. Shaking my head… I can not believe how badly our civil rights are being VIOLATED!
Today CHRONIC PAIN, tomorrow what… Freedom of speech?
I miss each and every one of you… really does! I think of you all on a continual basis (every day in fact) honest to God! XXXOOO
A side note if anyone suffers from chronic pain issues or you know anyone who does, please do reach out to me!
Our voices need to be heard, if we band together we can make a change!

EVEN IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHRONIC ILLNESS / PAIN,  one day God forbid, due to an accident, illness or other circumstances this might be your Journey too!

And/or you believe the government should stay out of our Medical /health rights and not play doctor with our lives.
We need your tears… please!
I IMPLORE YOU… I AM FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE  MILLIONS OUT THERE WHO ARE  IN TREMENDOUS, TREMENDOUS, TREMENDOUS PAIN!
I spend approximately 16+ hours a day working on this… not just for me, but, for that veteran who is contemplating suicide because his pain is so out of control and he can’t get the medications he so desperately needs. And for that woman over there who isolates herself in her room barely ever leaves it, except to go to the bathroom.  Who feels lost, alone, desperate and curled up in a ball crying out in so much pain. Who feels like suicide is her only option!  She cannot find a doctor who will listen, care, respect, acknowledge and treat her illness/pain so many of us have the same story, yet different.
We are labeled, judged and feel as if we are the Forgotten and unimportant part of society. We feel as if the government, the medical community, most time society as a whole doesn’t care, we are labeled drug addicts, drug seekers, lazy, and the list goes on and on and on!

Imagine what that does to our self-esteem and self-worth. Especially, when you have validated, qualified medical proof of your ailments yet, you have victimized time and time again!

It does so much to mess up your psyche it’s incredible, in addition with the pain… too much!
With the new FDA guidelines they are killing us pain patients by undertreating or not treating our so painful conditions its Insanity, it’s inhumane and torture!
In fact, United Nations Policy… states that Pain Management is a Fundamental Human Right Under Treatment or not Treating is a form of torture and is a crime against humanity!

Our government is totally ignoring each and every one of our explanations and/or pleas to be heard, and the wrongs that have been done to us Made-Right.

Inaccurate, manipulated information be corrected with the right statistical information!
However, the GOVERNMENT/MEDIA  just DOESN’T CARE, AND DOESN’T RESPOND!
So many of us in the community feel as if we have no value.

Every single day, and I’m not playing, every single day. I talk to No Lie 10-30 different individuals who are desperate… have no medication or at the very end of their medical medication.  They are crying and screaming in pain, who want to kill themselves as they see no other viable option. I know exactly how they feel as that has been my mindset on numerous occasions!
I have videos of me in pain and there’s a huge difference between me properly medicated giving me the quality of life and me not medicated not wanting to go on!
This truly is a PUBLIC EMERGENCY and PEOPLE NEED TO GET INVOLVED ON SO  MANY LEVELS!
I apologize for this long, long, long post…    I am just such a concerned and caring empathetic individual who tries to always stick up for the underdog!

For those who cannot stand up for themselves.

Regardless of how ill I am! Or how incredibly this is to the detriment of my health which is speeding up my eventual death! But I feel like God is telling me that this is my purpose! So I will not stop until I take my last breath!
It’s all about Humanity, mankind, empathy, and justice for those who suffer whether it be from #DEPRESSION, #RACISM, #MENTAL OR EMOTIONAL ILLNESS, #SPECIALEDUCATION #DISABILITES (AUTISM my grandbaby💙💙💙) TO #CHRONICPAIN.💜💜💜
So with no options and so much pain, there are only three options for us.

Since so many individuals are being weaned or completely taken off our medications that we have been prescribed for many many years…

#1… current guidelines are rescinded and made right more regulations put on safer prescription prescribing…. but we have access to our medications!
#2 we go to the streets probably turn to heroin as it is cheaper and easier to find. Thus, we will still be one of the statistics addicted with a possible outcome of overdose. Costing the government money which is the root of all evil and probably behind this whole made up crisis
#3… #SUICIDE our pain will not go away it is chronic it is every day, it is relentless and by taking away our medications you are not only taking away or quality of life but no viable option is replaced!

We are told to go see a psychiatrist what is a psychiatrist going to do about our pain? It is not made up it is not going to just magically go away!

Even if we were to go into mandatory as they’re trying to get bills passed that individuals who test for opioids have to go into mandatory rehabilitation centers.

Our pain is still not going to go away we are still going to have it!

All of the statistics for overdoses were all grouped together that includes aspirin, medications for diabetes, cocaine, alcohol, heroin in the illegal Fentanyl we’re all included in the statistics which was 60,000 + but that is not 60,000 prescription opioid deaths, which media, White House, Christy, and Kolondy have has led us to believe! There are more falling deaths then opioid prescription-related deaths!
I have so much more to say but will in another post! I am attaching a couple links so you could go ahead and see this information for yourself!
God bless you I love you and Happy Thanksgiving #WhatWhat #WHOOPWHOOP#YEPYEP #TOTALLY #100ALLDAYEVERYDAY XOXOX

Due to this whole opioid man-made made up crisis either join contact me or some kind of advocacy group! Day are putting inaccurate misinformation manipulated to serve their purposes out there in the media so many people are misinformed and truly believe the information that is being said to them is true and accurate when that is so far, so incredibly far from the truth! I have researched, and researched! And Edition, IB long 2 several group many that advocate and educate those who had no clue of the Injustice that is being done to chronic pain sufferers everywhere!

In fact, I belong to a very Elite group with all of the top Advocates/doctors/ authors actors and actresses /Ph.D./ professors flash chronic pain individuals etc…
We as a whole research dispute and just bill information that comes out in the media Exedra

 

I AM WHAT I AM…

I AM WHAT I AM…

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I am what I am,
All imperfections included…
from my #WHOOPWHOOP’S,
#YEPYEP’S and #WHATWHAT’S
to my pain, sorrow and sadness…
I am what I am,
because of the journey that was placed before me from imprisonment by cruel sick criminals, rapes, molestation, abuse, physical, mental and emotional…which tore my soul apart… always questioning,
why does everyone always hurt my heart?

I am what I am,
because of all my challenges both good and bad…
I’ve learned to own them, live and sooth them… they will always
be apart of my story…
I used to hide away, never draw attention near,
always afraid that I was not
worthy of anything good at all.
I had so much fear!

But, one day I realized that I unlike no other still had a heart of gold, no one could kill, destroy or quiet…
I am pretty much a storm…
So, I began to speak my heart and outside influences would laugh,
I was told your strange,
you’ll never be a thing other than a victim, a failure, not much of anything…
I with great pride and confidence said, “I am what I am “, “I’m Cathy with a “C”, and “I like me, I’m loving,
I’m caring,  I’m empathetic to all,
a beautiful sight to see”…
“I’m expressive, animated, silly and different, I am uniquely me”.

So think, before you judge me.
I feel sorry for you.
To carry so much hatred must
do a lot of harm to you.
I’ll continue to be me.
I know God has big plans,
as I’m one who has the ability to touch a lot of hearts and have been there a victim a broken and wounded heart.
So please don’t let your past dictate tomorrow.
Aren’t you tired of living in this sorrow?
So..  I am what I am today,
everyday can be a brand new start!

Written by,
Cathy Kean
#DEPRESSION #IAMWHATIAM #ILIKEME #ILOVEMYGBABIES #ILOVEMYKIDS #HOPEFORJEREMIAH #TIREDTIREDTIREDOFTHEPAIN #chronicpain #support #NARCISSISTABUSE #DESPERATELOVE #ACCEPTANCE #DONTJUDGEMEYOUDONTKNOWMYJOURNEY #UNITY #WEDESERVEBETTER #ADVOCATE #SPREADAWARENESSABUSE #YOUDONTKNOWTHEREALME #ACCEPTANCE #DONTJUDGEME
#WHOOPWHOOP #YEPYEP #TOTALLY #100ALLDAYEVERYDAY #WHATWHAT #JUSTKEEPINGITREAL #BAMWHATYOUKNOWABOUTTHAT

I AM WHAT I AM…

I AM WHAT I AM…

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I am what I am,
All imperfections included…
from my #WHOOPWHOOP’S,
#YEPYEP’S and #WHATWHAT’S
to my pain, sorrow and sadness…
I am what I am,
because of the journey that was placed before me from imprisonment by cruel sick criminals, rapes, molestation, abuse, physical, mental and emotional…which tore my soul apart… always questioning,
why does everyone always hurt my heart?

I am what I am,
because of all my challenges both good and bad…
I’ve learned to own them, live and sooth them… they will always
be apart of my story…
I used to hide away, never draw attention near,
always afraid that I was not
worthy of anything good at all.
I had so much fear!

But, one day I realized that I unlike no other still had a heart of gold, no one could kill, destroy or quiet…
I am pretty much a storm…
So, I began to speak my heart and outside influences would laugh,
I was told your strange,
you’ll never be a thing other than a victim, a failure, not much of anything…
I with great pride and confidence said, “I am what I am “, “I’m Cathy with a “C”, and “I like me, I’m loving,
I’m caring,  I’m empathetic to all,
a beautiful sight to see”…
“I’m expressive, animated, silly and different, I am uniquely me”.

So think, before you judge me.
I feel sorry for you.
To carry so much hatred must
do a lot of harm to you.
I’ll continue to be me.
I know God has big plans,
as I’m one who has the ability to touch a lot of hearts and have been there a victim a broken and wounded heart.
So please don’t let your past dictate tomorrow.
Aren’t you tired of living in this sorrow?
So..  I am what I am today,
everyday can be a brand new start!

Written by,
Cathy Kean
#DEPRESSION #IAMWHATIAM #ILIKEME #ILOVEMYGBABIES #ILOVEMYKIDS #HOPEFORJEREMIAH #TIREDTIREDTIREDOFTHEPAIN #chronicpain #support #NARCISSISTABUSE #DESPERATELOVE #ACCEPTANCE #DONTJUDGEMEYOUDONTKNOWMYJOURNEY #UNITY #WEDESERVEBETTER #ADVOCATE #SPREADAWARENESSABUSE #YOUDONTKNOWTHEREALME #ACCEPTANCE #DONTJUDGEME
#WHOOPWHOOP #YEPYEP #TOTALLY #100ALLDAYEVERYDAY #WHATWHAT #JUSTKEEPINGITREAL #BAMWHATYOUKNOWABOUTTHAT

BEHIND THIS MASK

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Lies so much brokenness, pain and damage hidden from all, she’s tried to reach out but, no one has payed attention at all…

BEHIND THOSE EARS 

So many words which echo and wounded her soul, you are not good enough,

not pretty enough,

not smart enough,

Why are you even here? Your a failure to all…

No one wants you, you can disapper no one will miss you at all.

BEHIND THIS BODY

So many scars from hands placed upon it she’s been violated, beaten and more.

BEHIND THOSE EYES

Which have cried more than most, they have seen so much hatred from those she trusted most… feeling as if they were right.

Why don’t they really see her? She’s been hurting so deep.

She’s been wanting

to go while she sleeps,

never to wake up and put an end to all the emptiness, anguish, judgements from all… which torment her daily she just wants some peace and get away from it all…

Oh no, someone is coming …

So, she will put on her mask now and play her role for you all…

Pretending to be happy, complete, a servant to all…

She plays this role well, putting a smile on her face while living in the purest of hell…

So, before you judge another person, please remember these words!

Strength,  beauty and character can be beaten out of us all…

Be kind to each other

for you have no idea the

story their journey at all…

You can be the difference between them really living or not wanting to at all…

Written by,

Cathy Kean

#invisibleillness #suicidedue2pain #Painispain #intractablepain #cdc #painmanagement #opioidhysteria #propaganda #falsenarrative

_________ing an Uncooperative Body

Musings of an Aspie

I don’t know how to title this. I don’t know what verb to put in that gaping blank space. I don’t even know if body is the right word.

Maybe brain is more correct, though my brain keeps reassuring me that it knows exactly what it’s doing. It points fingers at my uncooperative mouth and unruly hands, blaming the execution when I’m quite sure something must be going wrong further up the line, in the commands or perhaps the translation from thought to action.

And yet . . .

It’s clearly physical, too. Physiological? I watch my hand go astray as it writes letters that I’ve know how to form–that I’ve been writing without conscious thought–for forty years. Even as my brain is putting on the brakes and mentally shouting at my fingers that an “S” doesn’t look like that, my hand carries merrily on, barely finishing an extra loop…

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Love more loudly…

Love, love, love your post! I am standing up because, “It’s not enough to be kind and believe in the good. We must love more loudly.
We must love more loudly. We must make inclusion thunder. We must speak up! Show up! And scream for what is right. Silence is the enemy!!!!” I love your energy, drive and passion! You are definitely a gift to the autistic community and the world!!!

Thirty Days of Autism

Wednesday morning after the US election my sister, Michelle, shared:
“What I will tell my children this morning…?  It’s not enough to be kind and believe in the good. We must love more loudly. We must make inclusion thunder. We must speak up! Show up! And scream for what is right. Silence is the enemy!!!!”

And now I am wondering about what we need to show our children…

What if they see us taking action?
What might they tell their children someday of our actions today??

I hope that my children will see that I am gutted…

That they will see me wipe my tears…

And in the midst of a mind reeling and wondering at how this can even be…
they will see me take a deep breath, square my shoulders, dig deep for the strength to continue to stand up for what I believe.

There is work…

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Beyond Awareness and Irony: Autism is for life…

LOVE IT

Thirty Days of Autism

The title of my previous post Thirty days and counting… Autism: Day 4,711 was meant to be ironic. To me this was amusing in that it was poking fun at my own intent with this blog by pointing to that place between what is expected and what is the reality of the situation. That space between the two – between what I anticipate and what I actually get – that is the space where I notice humour often resides.

In April 2011 I set out to blog for 30 days: to do my little part to support Autism Awareness Month, to share my experiences with my son with autism/Autistic son, and my perspectives as a special education teacher, in a way that might make a difference for others.  Thirty posts in 30 days – that was my objective and then this thing… this mission… my contribution to increasing awareness… would…

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My Plan B is… Stick to Plan A!!

AMEN!!!I feel the same way! You go girl! WHOOP WHOOP

Thirty Days of Autism

This past week was the marking of the third year of this blog… no fanfare needed… because there is so much work that needs to be done.

And I am busy – so busy – with working at my wonderful job as a special education teacher – with parenting my spectacular son, H (now 15) and my fabulous daughter, Nika (now almost 21 and winding up her 3rd year of university).

I am busy with connecting and hanging out with Craig the Amazing – and so appreciative of this man’s endless support of my sometimes harebrained schemes – and his patience and encouragement and faith while I work to make lofty goals and dreams a reality. And… if that wasn’t enough… he laughs at my jokes! So yes, I am blessed to have the prefect husband!

This week I am also busy preparing my presentation as a part of the…

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IEP HAS TO OFFER SERVICES RELATIVE SO STUDENT CAN GROW

jj my baby

My grandson Jeremiah deserves all services required to make him into the man he was/is intended to be!

Earlier this week, the Supreme Court issued a ruling in Endrew F. v. Douglas County School District. The Supreme Court unanimously issued a ruling on the level of benefit IDEA requires public schools to provide to students with disabilities. In the past, the level of benefit school districts were required to provide was de minimis, […]

via NEW RULING: A SCHOOL MUST OFFER AN IEP REASONABLY CALCULATED TO ENABLE A CHILD TO MAKE PROGRESS APPROPRIATE IN LIGHT OF THE CHILD’S CIRCUMSTANCES — SPECIAL EDUCATION LEGAL JOURNEY