I am what I am,
All imperfections included…
from my #WHOOPWHOOP’S,
#YEPYEP’S and #WHATWHAT’S
to my pain, sorrow and sadness… I am what I am,
because of the journey that was placed before me from imprisonment by cruel sick criminals, rapes, molestation, abuse, physical, mental and emotional…which tore my soul apart… always questioning,
why does everyone always hurt my heart?
I am what I am,
because of all my challenges both good and bad…
I’ve learned to own them, live and sooth them… they will always
be apart of my story…
I used to hide away, never draw attention near,
always afraid that I was not
worthy of anything good at all.
I had so much fear!
But, one day I realized that I unlike no other still had a heart of gold, no one could kill, destroy or quiet… I am pretty much a storm…
So, I began to speak my heart and outside influences would laugh,
I was told your strange,
you’ll never be a thing other than a victim, a failure, not much of anything…
I with great pride and confidence said, “I am what I am “, “I’m Cathy with a “C”, and “I like me, I’m loving,
I’m caring, I’m empathetic to all,
a beautiful sight to see”…
“I’m expressive, animated, silly and different, I am uniquely me”.
So think, before you judge me.
I feel sorry for you.
To carry so much hatred must
do a lot of harm to you.
I’ll continue to be me.
I know God has big plans,
as I’m one who has the ability to touch a lot of hearts and have been there a victim a broken and wounded heart.
So please don’t let your past dictate tomorrow.
Aren’t you tired of living in this sorrow?
So.. I am what I am today, everyday can be a brand new start!
Hello my name is Cathy, thank you so much for visiting my site. I am all kinds of
complicated! :) I am a single mother... actually divorced mother of 4 grown adult children and seven amazing grandchildren. I was diagnosed with lupus, malabsorbtion, anxiety, Stiff Person Syndrome, anemia, post traumatic stress syndrome, Parkinson's and the list goes on and on approximately 7+ years ago. Doctors said, I only had 3 months to live as I had been on TPN What it is:
TPN is a way of supplying all the nutritional needs of the body by bypassing the digestive system and dripping nutrient solution directly into a vein.
TPN is used when individuals cannot or should not get their nutrition through eating. TPN is used when the intestines are obstructed, when the small intestine is not absorbing nutrients properly, or a gastrointestinal fistula (abnormal connection) is present. TPN is also used foR malnourished individuals. It is also used for patients who have gastroparesis and cannot digest food properly. (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/total+parenteral+nutrition)
TPN is normally given through a large central vein. A catheter is inserted into the vein in the chest area under local anesthesia and sterile conditions. Often the placement is done in an operating room to decrease the chance of infection. Several different types catheters are used based on the reason TPN is needed and the expected length of treatment. Once the catheter is in place, a chest x ray is done to make sure the placement is correct.
It may also be used at home for long-term therapy. TPN solution is mixed daily under sterile conditions. Maintaining sterility is essential for preventing infection. For this reason, the outside tubing leading from the bag of solution to the catheter is changed daily, and special dressings covering the catheter are changed every other day. (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/total+parenteral+nutrition
(http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/total+parenteral+nutrition)
which was provided through a port-a-cath in my chest for 12 to 24 hours everyday. As my body kept getting septic I was no longer able to withstand any kind of foreign object in my body which led to them taking out the port. Friends, family were told about the three-months. I was devastated it's hard to even articulate the feelings you feel when you are given that kind of news. At that time I was going through divorce I thought no matter what even though we're going through the divorce he cared at one point so I reached out and called him I needed someone to talk to. Only to get totally ignored I further slipped into a dark depression. About two weeks after the news my second oldest called me and told me that he had a baby on the way. Always, always wanted a grandchild I thought there was no way I'm leaving this Earth without seeing that baby. Jeremiah was born in December 7th of 2010 such a gorgeous beautiful baby he literally slept in my room every single day and night he was my shadow. At 2 months I knew he had autism I knew it with everything I was my youngest son has autism and God you spoke to me. So that's almost 7 years ago and I'm still here i'm trying to fight to hang on it's getting harder and harder days are getting longer and longer I getting sicker and sicker. I have to hang on to make sure my Jeremiah is able to receive services so my baby doesn't get institutionalized. I will add more just wanted to give you a brief update...
thx
Cathy
View all posts by mydancewiththeBeast
My pleasure doll! Thank you so much for reading and most importantly replying it’s nice to know that it appreciated and read! God bless you!
Cathy Kean
Dance With The Devil 
This is awesome! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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My pleasure doll! Thank you so much for reading and most importantly replying it’s nice to know that it appreciated and read! God bless you!
Cathy Kean
LikeLiked by 2 people
Why thank you so much! 😁
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