BEHIND THIS MASK

CHRONIC PAIN, FIBROMYALGIA, LUPUS ETC, Depression, Uncategorized 1 Minute

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Lies so much brokenness, pain and damage hidden from all, she’s tried to reach out but, no one has payed attention at all…

BEHIND THOSE EARS 

So many words which echo and wounded her soul, you are not good enough,

not pretty enough,

not smart enough,

Why are you even here? Your a failure to all…

No one wants you, you can disapper no one will miss you at all.

BEHIND THIS BODY

So many scars from hands placed upon it she’s been violated, beaten and more.

BEHIND THOSE EYES

Which have cried more than most, they have seen so much hatred from those she trusted most… feeling as if they were right.

Why don’t they really see her? She’s been hurting so deep.

She’s been wanting

to go while she sleeps,

never to wake up and put an end to all the emptiness, anguish, judgements from all… which torment her daily she just wants some peace and get away from it all…

Oh no, someone is coming …

So, she will put on her mask now and play her role for you all…

Pretending to be happy, complete, a servant to all…

She plays this role well, putting a smile on her face while living in the purest of hell…

So, before you judge another person, please remember these words!

Strength,  beauty and character can be beaten out of us all…

Be kind to each other

for you have no idea the

story their journey at all…

You can be the difference between them really living or not wanting to at all…

Written by,

Cathy Kean

#invisibleillness #suicidedue2pain #Painispain #intractablepain #cdc #painmanagement #opioidhysteria #propaganda #falsenarrative

Published by mydancewiththeBeast

Hello my name is Cathy, thank you so much for visiting my site. I am all kinds of complicated! :) I am a single mother... actually divorced mother of 4 grown adult children and seven amazing grandchildren. I was diagnosed with lupus, malabsorbtion, anxiety, Stiff Person Syndrome, anemia, post traumatic stress syndrome, Parkinson's and the list goes on and on approximately 7+ years ago. Doctors said, I only had 3 months to live as I had been on TPN What it is: TPN is a way of supplying all the nutritional needs of the body by bypassing the digestive system and dripping nutrient solution directly into a vein. TPN is used when individuals cannot or should not get their nutrition through eating. TPN is used when the intestines are obstructed, when the small intestine is not absorbing nutrients properly, or a gastrointestinal fistula (abnormal connection) is present. TPN is also used foR malnourished individuals. It is also used for patients who have gastroparesis and cannot digest food properly. (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/total+parenteral+nutrition) TPN is normally given through a large central vein. A catheter is inserted into the vein in the chest area under local anesthesia and sterile conditions. Often the placement is done in an operating room to decrease the chance of infection. Several different types catheters are used based on the reason TPN is needed and the expected length of treatment. Once the catheter is in place, a chest x ray is done to make sure the placement is correct. It may also be used at home for long-term therapy. TPN solution is mixed daily under sterile conditions. Maintaining sterility is essential for preventing infection. For this reason, the outside tubing leading from the bag of solution to the catheter is changed daily, and special dressings covering the catheter are changed every other day. (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/total+parenteral+nutrition (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/total+parenteral+nutrition) which was provided through a port-a-cath in my chest for 12 to 24 hours everyday. As my body kept getting septic I was no longer able to withstand any kind of foreign object in my body which led to them taking out the port. Friends, family were told about the three-months. I was devastated it's hard to even articulate the feelings you feel when you are given that kind of news. At that time I was going through divorce I thought no matter what even though we're going through the divorce he cared at one point so I reached out and called him I needed someone to talk to. Only to get totally ignored I further slipped into a dark depression. About two weeks after the news my second oldest called me and told me that he had a baby on the way. Always, always wanted a grandchild I thought there was no way I'm leaving this Earth without seeing that baby. Jeremiah was born in December 7th of 2010 such a gorgeous beautiful baby he literally slept in my room every single day and night he was my shadow. At 2 months I knew he had autism I knew it with everything I was my youngest son has autism and God you spoke to me. So that's almost 7 years ago and I'm still here i'm trying to fight to hang on it's getting harder and harder days are getting longer and longer I getting sicker and sicker. I have to hang on to make sure my Jeremiah is able to receive services so my baby doesn't get institutionalized. I will add more just wanted to give you a brief update... thx Cathy

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