Just the first of many!

I will never ever be able to come close to performing, functioning and having the mind-set I once did prior to this horribly debilitating illnesses.
It causes me extreme depression… frustration and sadness. Those of us who suffer with Arachnoiditis , Lupus, Arthritis, Endometriosis, MS etc. or the combination. We live our lives however, our standard of living is incredibly compromised!
The individuals we once we/us) dies. That person that was able to go to work, engage with family, friends, interact with life and sustain a sense of normalcy is gone.
I am always going to be me  Cathy Kean  
But…I am substantially DIFFERENT!
I suffer with cognitive difficulties or fibro fog, headaches, sensory sensitivity, exhaustion, muscle tightness,
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My feet spasms
feet spasms
digestive issues, anxiety, depression never feel good, lack of control, grief, worry, immune dysfunction, chest pain, panic attacks, inflammation, insomnia, memory loss, my body, our bodies are overly sensitive to hmm-mm well, pretty much everything! It’s not that were emotionally over-sensitive it’s a psychological thing…
Medically speaking the word sensitivity is because something in the immune system malfunctions and begins reacting inappropriately to a substance the immune system has been sensitized to the substance.The central nervous system or CNS is made up of your brain, spinal cord and nerves of the spinal cord. The entire nervous system becomes sensitized to anything unpleasant the medical term for those unpleasant things is “noxious stimuli” it can be a bad smell, pain, bright light anything because our bodies are sensitive they react more strongly than most people, lights are too bright for us when they’re just fine for other people. The same goes for noise and visual chaos, heat, cold, pressure on the skin,.. etc… Our nerves overreact to the things around us, and our brains basically get overloaded when they get the signals which makes it worse and intensifies our pain in addition to other factors. Imagine feeling like you were burning from the inside out. Stress, let me repeat this stress, is a huge, huge, huge factor in exacerbating these already excruciating issues !
Comments we hear that hurt those of us who suffer from fibromyalgia/lupus/MS/Arthritis/Endometriosis etc… are comments such as,
“But you don’t look sick”,
“Must be nice to sit in bed all day”,
“Your pain can’t be that bad”,
I live with an intense deep exhaustion that makes every movement feel like I’m trying to move at the bottom of the ocean.
I suffer from an extremely sensitive heat intolerance that makes me feel light-headed, faint even in what feels like a normal room temperature to you  My bones often feel like someone is using a jack hammer on them, especially during a change of weather.
Something… anything even something little, stresses or worries me, my body rebels and symptoms flare up just for the fun of it.  My nerves often give me Phantom inches that make me scratch myself raw with an itch that doesn’t really exist.
The simplest tasks can take me more than 10 times longer and take five times as much energy to finish than a normal person
It is extremely difficult for me to concentrate on anything, and as a result my memory suffers drastically! I am told constantly by others don’t you remember I told you thinking I intentionally trying to get out of something…
But, unless you’ve walked in our shoes and carry our burden you will never ever know the struggles  beneath our surface…!#!!
++to be continued getting tired but will probably just lay there in pain

but with the support of others the best mind frame possible that is part of the battle an instrumental part of the battle!


6 thoughts on “Just the first of many!

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